Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What would you hear at a cow concert?
→ Moo-sic!

Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. "Don't worry, son. Your mother will come back. She's only bringing people babies and making them happy."

The next night, it's father's turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, "Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."

A few days later, the stork's parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where he's been all night.

The baby stork says, "No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!"

What kind of cat should you take into the desert?
→ A first aid kitty!

How do bees get to school?
→ By school buzz!

What lies on the ground 100 feet up in the air and smells?
→ A dead centipede.

Why did the cowboy ride his horse?
→ Because the horse was too heavy to carry.

What do you call a cat wearing shoes?
→ Puss in boots!

What do you call the loser in a hissing, scratching cat fight?
→ Claude

Why did the cow jump over the moon?
→ To get to the Milky Way!

What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?
→ A bullfighter!