Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why does everyone love cats?
→ They're purr-fect!

Dick and Bob were on a hunting trip. At nightfall, Dick complained, 'We've been hunting all day. We've shot at five deer - and not hit one!'
'OK. Let's miss two more and then head back to camp,' said Bob.

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
→ "I love you a ton!"

Why did the elephant cross the road?
→ Because the chicken was having a day off!

Why does a dinosaur climb a tree?
→ To get in his nest.

President Clinton, returning from a campaign stop in Arkansas, is climbing the steps to board Air Force One. Under each arm he is carrying a souvenir of his trip -- a live razorback. At the top of the jetway, he is met by the guard, a Marine sergeant, who issues a crisp salute.
"I'd salute you back, Sergeant," says the President, "but as you can see, I've got my hands full."
"Yes, sir," replies the sergeant. "Very nice pigs, sir. Very nice pigs."
"Why, these aren't pigs," the President responds. "These are RAZORBACKS!"
"Yes, sir -- razorbacks. Sorry, sir."
"Yup," Clinton continues. "Got this one for Chelsea, and this one for Hillary."
The sergeant replies: "Very good trade, sir -- very good trade."

What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?
→ A duck filled fatty puss!

What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?
→ Santa Claws!

Where do Russian cows come from?
→ Moscow!

Where do Danish cows come from?
→ Cowpenhagen!