Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

Did you hear about the man with five keen senses?
→ He still lacked common and horse!

What do you call a sleeping bull?
→ A bull-dozer.

- Mum, can I have a dog for Christmas?

- No you can have turkey like everyone else!

A fellow was following a truck in heavy traffic. Every block or so, when they were stopped at a stop light, the driver of the truck would jump out of the cab with a big stick and bang on the side of the cargo bay. He'd then jump back into the cab in time to drive away when the signal changed.

The first fellow observed this for several miles, until he could stand it no longer. The next time the truck driver jumped out with the stick, the first fellow jumped out and ran up to him. "I'm sorry to bother you," he said, over the din of the banging, "but I am very curious; could you tell me what you are doing?"

Without breaking rhythm, the truck driver replied, "Sure, Mac. Ya see, this here's a six-ton truck but I've got eight tons of canaries aboard, so I've gotta keep two ton of them flying all the time so I don't break an axle".

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with strawberry soda?
→ A berry bubbly bunny.

How did the dog make anti-freeze?
→ He stole her blanket.

What do you call a black Eskimo dog?
→ A dusky husky!

Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?
→ Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.

What do you call explosive cow vomit?
→ A cud missle!

What do you call a cow that's just had a baby?
→ De-calfinated!