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A hound dog and a dalmation were sitting in an Internet cafe and the dalmation said to the hound, "Hey, check out my web site!" The hound asked for the address and the dalmation responded, "www.dalmation.dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot-dot."

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There was an American on a buisness trip in England. He got on a train, and was unable to find a seat. The man walked up and down the different cars until he discovered that an old lady's tiny dog was taking up a whole seat.

So he said to the lady, "Hey, you think you could move your dog? I can't find a seat."

Now this wasn't a nice lady, so she replied, "You rude American! My little poodles needs somewhere to be!"

So the man walked up and down the cars again, looking for somewhere to sit. He came back to the lady and the dog. "Look lady, I need somewhere to sit. Can you please put your dog on your lap?"

Of course, the woman's reply was about the same as the first one, "You again?! Go away you rude man, don't bother my poodles!"

So for the last time the man searched for a seat as the train started. He came back to the woman angrily, "Move your mutt lady!" The woman went into a fit of frustration, scolding the man like a child.

Finally he'd had enough and grabbed the dog and threw it out the window. The woman sat in disbelief until the man accross the isle said, "You damn Americans, you do everything wrong!

You drive on the wrong side of the road, you eat with the fork in the wrong hand, and NOW YOU THROW THE WRONG BITCH OUT THE WINDOW!"

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"Why are you crying Fred?" asked the teacher.
"'Cos my parrot died last night. I washed it in Wisk. . ."
"Fred," said the teacher. "You must have known that Wisk's bad for parrots."
"Oh it wasn't the Wisk that killed it, sir. It was the tumble drier."

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