Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
→ Snakes and Larders!

Why are snakes hard to fool?
→ They have no legs to pull!

How do you make a rabbit fast?
→ Don't feed it.

What is red and dangerous?
→ Strawberry and tarantula jelly!

What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code?
→ A morese-quito!

Why was the horse all charged up?
→ It ate some haywire!

What is stronger an elephant or a snail?
→ A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk!

What dogs never get lost?
→ Newfound-lands!

What dog wears contact lenses?
→ A cock-eyed spaniel!

A man and his son were shovelling the driveway after a heavy snowfall when their dog, Lady, wandered away from them. Man, fearing the dog might be hit by car, shouted angrily: "Lady! Lady! Get over here right now!" The dog charged happily back over to them, accompanied by a commuter who had been standing at the bus stop. "Yes, sir, what can I do for you?" she asked.