Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What's a bees favourite flower?
→ A bee-gonias!

A man went into a pet shop to buy a parrot. He was shown an especially fine one which he liked the look of, but he was puzzled by the two strings which were tied to its feet.

- What are they for? - he asked the pet shop manager.

- Ah well, sir, that's a very unusual feature of this particular parrot. You see, he's a trained parrot, sir, he used to be in the circus. If you pull the string on his left foot he says 'Hello' and if you pull the string on his left foot he says 'Goodbye'. - came the reply.

- And what happens if you pull both strings at once?

- I fall off my perch, you fool! - screeched the parrot.

The big game hunter was showing his friends his hunting trophies. Drawing their attention to a lion skin rug on the floor he said, "I shot this fellow in Africa. Didn't want to kill such a magnificent beast, of course, but it was either him or me." "Well," said a guest, "he certainly makes a much better rug than you would!"

Why is Dick Clark a favourite star with horses?
→ Because he was a disk jockey from Filly!

Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
→ They had to pay the jockey overtime!

What jumps up and down in front of a car?
→ Froglights!

What's grey and goes round and round?
→ An elephant in a washing machine!

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?
→ He wears a coat and pants.

What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
→ Filet delay!

What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
→ Roast Moosmallows!