Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

Did you hear the one about the Easter Bunny who sat on a bee?
→ It's a tender tail!

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?
→ He foamed at the mouth.

- I'll see you shortly.

- Okay, but don't call me "Shortly!"

I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay.
It's fun to call him...
"Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!" He went insane.
Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray this cushy life to keep
I pray for toys that look like mice
and warm cushions soft and nice
For grocery bags where I can hide
Just like a tiger croucched inside
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks
and someone nice to scratch my back
For window sills all warm and bright
for shadows to explore by night
I pray I'll always stay real cool
and keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really run by cats.

What did the bumble bee striker say?
→ Hive scored!

What did the alien say when his flying saucer landed in a stud farm?
→ Take me to your breeder!

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
→ After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?
→ Your spinning me a yarn here!

What's a bees favourite novel?
→ The Great Gats-bee!