Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet?

- Why are we running so fast?

- Because it says:

- Tear along the dotted line

Why did the bees go on strike?
→ Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers!

What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell?
→ A hum dinger!

What did the bee to the other bee in summer?
→ Swarm here isn't it!

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything.
This, surely, would impress him.
He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell.
The dog responded and jumped into the water.
The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend:

- Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?

- I sure did - responded the pessimist.

- He can't swim.

What's another name for an assistant stable cleaner?
→ A co-pile-it!

What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?
→ Annette!

What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants?
→ On television!

How do you know that peanuts are fattening?
→ Have you ever seen a skinny elephant?

What has eighteen legs and fetches a ball?
→ The Philadelphia Beagles!