Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why are rabbits never gold?
→ How would you tell them apart from goldfish?

What do you get when you cross a bunny with an orange?
→ A pip squeak.

What is the difference between a dog and a viola?
→ The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat?
→ To see if there was any more money in the kitty!

An Army Ranger was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However, he was not prepared to pay the high prices. After failing to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, he ended up shouting:

- I don't give two hoots for your shoes, man, I'll go and kill my own!

The shopkeeper replied:

- By all means. Just watch out for the two Marines who are doing the same.

So the Ranger went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water.

- They must be the two Marines - he thought.

Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The Marine stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer. Just as the beast was about to swallow him, the Marine struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already lay. Together the two Marines threw the gator onto its back, whereupon one exclaimed:

- Damn! This one doesn't have any shoes either!

Why do bees hum?
→ Because they've forgotten the words!

What is a horses favourite kind of party?
→ A stall ball.

Why does Rilla get mad when he's in a race?
→ Because all his friends shout:

- GO-RILLA!

What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair?
→ Lily!

What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
→ Hoppalong Cassidy!