Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What mouse was a Roman emperor?
→ Julius Cheeser!

What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them?
→ Mice Krispies!

Why do mice need oiling?
→ Because they squeak!

What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose?
→ I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it!

What insect runs away from everything?
→ A flee!

Why did the boy stand behind the horse?
→ He thought he might get a kick out of it!

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted:

- Are there any gators around here?!

- Naw, they ain't been around for years! - the man hollered back.

Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.

About halfway there he asked the guy:

- How'd you get rid of the gators?

- We didn't do nothin' - the beachcomber said.

- The sharks got 'em.

Which fish can perform operations?
→ Sturgeon!

- I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm.

- Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?

- I'd look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!

How do hens encourage their football teams?
→ They egg them on!