Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you call a pig with the flu?
→ A swine swine.

What is the missing link between the bass and the ape?
→ The baritone.

- Surveyor: This house is a ruin. I wonder what stops it from falling down.

- Owner: I think the woodworm are holding hands.

What do you call a big irish spider?
→ Paddy long legs!

What do you call a grasshopper with no legs?
→ A grasshover!

What does a bee say before it stings you?
→ This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you!

What is a horses favourite TV show?
→ Neeeebours

Why is a frog luckier than a cat?
→ Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times!

What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?
→ Skate!

What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee?
→ A sheep.