Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
→ A Lassie who plays brassie!

What is the best kind of dog to ask for directions?
→ A Chihuahua, because it knows all the shortcuts!

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?
→ That hit the spots!

What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by 684?
→ The wrong answer.

What do you call a dog with no legs?
→ It doesn't matter what you call him, he still won't come!

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
→ Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!

How do you get a dog to stop barking in the back seat of a car?
→ Put him in the front seat.

Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake?
→ Because he always slobbers out the candles!

- Mary: Do you think my sister's pretty?

- Gary: Well, let's just say if you pulled her pigtail she'd probably say 'oink, oink'!

A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there.

A farmer replied:

- Joe's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died.

- Well - replied the man.

- she must have had a lot of friends.

- Nope - said the farmer.

- we all just want to buy his mule.