Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What is a dog who crosses the street twice in an hour?
→ A double crosser.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
→ It's cute but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
→ Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!

What do tigers wear in bed?
→ Stripey pyjamas!

If there was an animal called Yabba Dabba, and if you decided keep it as a pet it your back yard, you will eventually step in Yabba Dabba Doo!

A panda bear walks into a bar, and tells the bartender that he wants to have lunch. The bartender gives him a menu and he orders.

The panda bear eats his lunch, and when he finishes, he gets up to leave. Suddenly, the panda bear pulls an AK-47 out of his fur, and shoots the bar to pieces. He then heads for the door.

The shocked bartender jumps out from behind the destroyed bar and yells:

- Hey, what do you think you're doing? You ate lunch, shot up my bar, and now you're just going to leave?

The panda bear answers calmlly:

- I'm a panda bear.

The bartender says:

- Yeah, so?

The panda bear replies:

- Look it up, and walks out the door.

The bartender jumps back behind the ruined bar and grabs his encyclopedia. He looks up "panda bear," and sure enough, there is a picture of the panda bear.

He reads the caption, which says:

- Panda Bear--a cuddly, black and white creature. Eats shoots and leaves.

What did the bumble bee striker say?
→ Hive scored!

What do you call a rabbit who is real cool?
→ A hip hopper.

What book did the rabbit take on vacation?
→ One with a hoppy ending.

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?
→ Cupigs!