Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What kind of dog does a dracula like?
→ A Bloodhound.

What does a blonde owl say?
→ What, what?

What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?
→ I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!

One fall day, Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse going down the street, followed by another hearse, followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse and asked who was in the first one:

- My wife - the man replied.

- I'm sorry - said Dave.

- What happened to her?

- My dog bit her and she died.

Dave was taken aback.

- And who's in the second hearse?

- My mother-in-law. My dog bit her too and she died as well.

Dave asked:

- Can I borrow your dog?

- Get in line.

What do you get when you cross a Rotweiler with a Collie?
→ A dog who bites off your arm and go's to get help.

Why do pigs never recover from illness?
→ Because you have to kill them before you cure them!

What is a pigs favourite ballet?
→ Swine Lake!

How do you fit more pigs on your farm?
→ Build a sty-scraper!

Did you hear about the pig's vacation?
→ They had a wonderful time at Yellowstone National Park. They dressed up as bears and raided all the garbage cans.

What do you do if you fiend King Kong in the kitchen?
→ Just don't monkey with him.