Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

- How do you get your pigs to sleep at night?

- No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens.

- You must have a very large chicken house.

Why are frogs no good at websurfing?
→ Computers have them toad-ily confused.

Why do primates do so well in show biz?
→ Put any Ape in the spotlight - and monkeyshines!

What does a bankrupt frog say?
→ "Baroke, baroke, baroke."

- First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face.

- Second Witch: It's because he's a hoptimist.

What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather?
→ One roars with pain and the other pours with rain!

Two women, who are dog owners, are arguing which dog is smarter:

- My dog is so smart. Every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around and then he takes a newspaper and brings it to me.

- I know.

- How?

- My dog told me.

Why can't Chihuahuas run marathons?
→ They're short of breath!

- My parrot lays square eggs but can only say one word.

- What's that?

- Ouch!

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
→ A great walkie-talkie!