Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
→ The Codfather!

Why did the 3-legged dog go back to Dodge City?
→ To see who shot his "paw."

When does a dog go "moo"?
→ When it is learning a new language!

How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?
→ Put him in your back yard.

What do parrots eat?
→ Polyfilla!

What is green and pecks on trees?
→ Woody Wood Pickle!

Why can't dogs use computers?
→ Because you can't stick your head out of Windows XP

Why did the pig wear yellow coveralls?
→ He split a seam in his blue ones.

Why did the firefly keep stealing things?

What goes "snap, crackle and pop"?
→ A firefly with a short circuit!

Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says:

- I want four budgies.

- Salesman: Certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female?

- Newfie: I don't care. I just want 4 budgies!

- Salesman: Certainly sir, what color would you like? We have yellow, blue, gr...

- Newfie: I don't care what color they are, just put four budgies in a box for me. Is that too hard?

- Salesman: O.K. O.K.

The two newfies pay for the budgies and leave. They drive out to this high cliff in Newfoundland and the first newfie reaches in the box and pulls out two of the birds, grasps them firmly and jumps off the cliff while flapping his arms. Of course he SPLATS at the bottom.
The second newfie looks down at his friend's twisted remains and says:

- What a shame. this budgie jumping isn't all it's cracked up to be!