Random joke from this category
A bloke who was well known for his anti Italian sentiments, was walking down the street one day with a mate, when they came across a busking act, an Italian with an organ grinding monkey. Our incipient racist stunned his friend by throwing a couple of bucks into the hat.
- I thought you hated Italians? - was the comment as the friend recovered.
- Yeh, I do. But even I'll admit they're cute when they're little.
What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
→ French flies.
What do polo players get from spending all afternoon in the saddle?
→ Poloroids.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
→ A lawn moo-er.
What do you call a dog that is left-handed?
→ A south paw.
What do you call a frightened scuba diver?
→ Chicken of the sea.
What do you call a monster with no neck?
→ The Lost Neck Monster.
What do you call a transvestite cow?
→ A Dairy Queen.
What do you call Eskimo cows?
→ Eskimoos.
What do you get when you cross a duck with a computer?
→ A quackintosh.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede?
→ Bacon and legs.
A lady on vacation took a stroll through the woods.
Suddenly a little white duck, all covered with poop, crossed her path.
- Oh, my - exclaimed the lady.
- Come on, I'll clean you!
She took a Kleenex from her purse and cleaned the little critter. She walked a little farther and another duck, with poop all over it, crossed her way. Again she took a Kleenex and cleaned the little bird. Then she encountered a third duck, with the same problem.
And for the third time, she acted like a Florence Nightingale. She walked on still farther and she heard a voice from the bushes calling... Pssssst...
- Hey, lady!
- Yes? - she responded.
- Do you have a Kleenex? - asked the voice from the bushes.
- No, not anymore - she answered.
- Damn! Have ya' seen any Ducks?
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang?
→ A smell that keeps coming back!
Why did the pig join the Army?
→ He heard the food was a mess.
When is a pig an ecologist?
→ When he recycles garbage into ham.
- First Caribou: What do you call a bee that can't make up his mind?
- Second Caribou: A maybee.
What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
→ Stick his bill up his ass.
How do you stop a rooser crowing on Sunday?
→ Eat him on Saturday!
Where do blind parrots go for treatment?
→ The Birds Eye counter!
