Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

How can you mend King Kong's arm if he's twisted it?
→ With a monkey wrench.

One woodworm met another.

- How's life? - she asked.

- Oh, same as usual - he replied, boring.

How do you get a parrot to talk properly?
→ Send him to polytechnic!

How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?
→ Just a phew!

Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping?
→ Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck!

What would a pig name a chain of food stores?
→ "Stop 'N Slop Markets"

How do you make a tame duck wild?
→ Annoy it.

What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
→ She was tickled to death!

What's hairy and flies through the air?
→ Jonathan Livingstone Gorilla!

A blind man walks into a store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden, he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head. The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are you doing?!!" The blind man replies, "Just looking around."