Elephant Riddles Eight

Why do elephants have trunks?
→ Because they would look silly with glove compartments.

What do you do when you come across an elephant?
→ Wipe it off!

Have you heard about Hannibal crossing the Alps with elephants?
→ None of the offspring survived.

How does the male elephant find the female elephant when she's lying down in tall grass?
→ VERY attractive.

How do you know when an elephant has been screwing in you're yard?
→ The flower beds are crushed and you are missing a garbage bag!

What did the elephant say when he saw a dead ant on the road?
→ Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!! (to be sung).

What did he say when he saw a live ant on the road?
→ He stamped it to death and then said "Deadant! Deadant! Deadant!!!".

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a grape?
→ Cosine (Theta) Note: Assumes |elephant| |grape| 1

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a mountain climber?
→ Zero - a mountain climber is a scaler.

What do you give a seasick elephant?
→ Lots of room.

What's grey and comes in quarts?
→ An elephant.

What do you do if an elephant comes through your window?
→ Swim for your life!!

Why do elephants lay on their backs?
→ To trip low flying canaries.

Why did the elephant have a yellow spot on his ass?
→ He wasn't laying on his back.

Why do elephants have Big Ears?
→ Because Noddy won't pay the ransom. (Noddy is children's storybook character)

Why don't you go into the jungle between 3 and 4 am?
→ Because the elephants are jumping from the trees.

Why are pygmies so short?
→ Because the go into the jungle between 3 and 4 am.

Whats that red stuff between elephants toes?
→ Slow pygmies.