Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?
→ He whale-d

Which author do the Gorillas love most?
→ John Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'

Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a firework flashed across the sky.

- 1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could fly like that.

- 2nd aardvark: You would, if your tail was on fire.

Two men are in a bar are boasting about their prowess and one of them says:

- My cock is longer than that cat's tail.

A bet is made, the bartender supplies a ruler, and the cat is roused and measured.

But when the bartender begins the second measurement, the stud says:

- Just a moment! Where did you measure that cat's tail from?

- From the asshole. - says the bartender.

- Well, kindly do me the same favor.

Why did the gray whale go on a diet?
→ Because he wasn't a Fin whale!

What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
→ A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming?
→ He was a card shark!

Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?
→ The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.

How do snails get their shells all shiny?
→ They use snail polish.

Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed by a Gorilla jumping off a tall building?
→ Fall-adelphia!