Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Can you make a pig shake?

- Tell him the wolf is coming.

- Waiter, there is a maggot in my soup!

- Don't worry sir, he won't last long in there!

What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
→ Elkaseltzer.

Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"

What is a whale's favorite TV show?
→ Flukes of Hazard!

An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant -- first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant's neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, "Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!"

What did one mouse say to the other mouse?
→ I get a click out of you.

- Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!

- Yes sir, thats the manager, the last customer was a witch doctor!

- Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!

- Sorry sir, maybe I've forgotten it when I removed the other three.

What's at the end of Moby Dick?
→ A whale of a time!