Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What's the difference between an african lion and OJ Simpson?
→ An african lion is an african lion, OJ Simpson is a lyin african!

- Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

- Couldn't be, sir. The cook used them all in the raisin bread.

What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
→ Squid pro quo!

What does an aardvark use when he has a cold?
→ An ant-ihistamine!

- Waiter, waiter! There's a spider in my soup. Send for the manager!

- It's no good, sir, he's frightened of them, too.

Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws?
→ It costs an arm and a leg to eat there!

Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory?
→ Alike did was stand around making faces.

A skunk family had two little skunks they called In and Out. One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk, Father Skunk and young Out spent hours looking for him, getting more worried all the time.

In the end the parents went home to have a cup of tea, but Out said he'd continue searching for a while.

Half an hour later he returned home, with a tired In following behind him.

- However did you find him? - asked Father Skunk.

- In-stinct - replied Out.

How do you define an aardvark?
→ Aan aanimal that resembles an aanteater!

What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
→ A teddy boar!