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Men Versus Dogs
How Dogs and Men Are the Same
- Both take up too much space on the bed.
- Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning
- Both mark their territory
- Neither tells you what's bothering them
- The smaller ones tend to be more nervous
- Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches
- Neither does any dishes
- Both fart shamelessly
- Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut
- Both like dominance games
- Both are suspicious of the postman
- Neither understands what you see in cats
How Dogs Are Better Than Men
- Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public
- Dogs miss you when you're gone
- Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong
- Dogs admit when they're jealous
- Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out
- Dogs do not play games with you, except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw.)
- You can train a dog
- Dogs are easy to buy for
- The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. (OK, really, the worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it and you can kill the one that gives it to you).
- Dogs understand what "no" means.
- Dogs mean it when they kiss you.