A woman went to a podiatrist complaining that her feet always hurt.
He immediately noticed that she was extremely bowlegged.
"Have you always been that way?" asked the podiatrist.
"No," she said, not until recently. "I've been fucking a lot doggie style."
"Well," said the podiatrist, "you are going to have to stop."
"I can't," she replied, "that's the only way my German Shepherd fucks."
Two sheepherders are perfoming unnatural acts with two of their herd simultaneously. One turns to the other, disgustedly, and says, "I hear they're doing this to women in Chicago!"
- Boy #1: Hey! Didja know that my grandfather was once face-to-face with a panther?
- Boy #2: That's nothing! My granny was once face-to-face with a lion! It was drooling...coming closer...closer...
- Boy #1: Gosh! What'd she do?
- Boy #2: She moved away from the cage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How can you tell if your college roomate is gay?
→ His dick tastes like shit.
A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
- We need a fourth for poker - said the friend.
- I'll be right over - whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked:
- Is it serious?
- Oh yes, quite serious - said the doctor gravely.
- In fact, three doctors are there already!
On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned to the bishop sitting next to him and said:
- What's a four-letter word ending in ‘unt’ which means ‘woman’?
The bishop said:
- Did you try ‘aunt’?
The Pope said:
- Mmmm. Do you have an eraser?
A man suspected his wife of seeing another man.
So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report:
Most honorable sir:
You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree-look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. Fall out of tree, not see. No Fee.
Here's a pretty nasty one:
Why are they having such a hard time finding a cure for AIDS?
→ The scientists can't get the mice to butt fuck.
A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potentialemployee's application and notices that the man has neverworked in retail before.
He says to the man:
- For a man with no experience, you arecertainly asking for a high wage.
- Well Sir - the applicant replies - the work is so much harderwhen you don't know what you'redoing!
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
- I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells:
- You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little idiot on your knee!
