Most viewed jokes

- Father Christmas: Excuse me, but did I step on your toes on my way out to get an ice-cream?

- Lady: You certainly did!

- Father Christmas: Oh good! That means I'm back in the right row!

- Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?

- Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to school, his teacher told him how he felt.
I feel with my hands Miss !

What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla?
→ An animal that puts you out a night!

If a beagle can't play a bugle in the marching band, what's his other favorite instrument to play?
→ A trombone.

What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD?
→ Having your dentist tell you.

What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine?
→ Hamburger!

A Mississippi professor was at a party and became indignant when asked if college professors were absent-minded.

"Professors haven't got bad memories," he declared. "They're not absent-minded. Don't you think I know where I am right now, and don't you think tomorrow I'll know where I was last night? Would somebody like to ask me another question?"

"Yes," said another guest. "Is it true that professors are absent-minded and have bad memories?"

"Good!" said the professor. "I knew sooner or later somebody would ask me that question."

Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore?
→ Yeah, they were Bill Clinton.

What do Bill Clinton and a fifteen-watt light bulb have in common?
→ Neither one is very bright.