Most viewed jokes

Dentist: "You don't need to open your mouth any wider. When I pull your tooth I expect to stand outside."

What did the werewolf eat after he'd had his teeth taken out?
→ The dentist.

- Doctor, doctor, I feel dead from the waist down.

- I'll arrange for you to be halfburied.

When did the criminal get smart?
→ When the judge threw the book at him.

What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
→ Old Moo Eyes!

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?

At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Er... How much for a season pass?"

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.

Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

"Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.

Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."

The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

- Astronomy Professor: What causes a half-moon?

- Student: When you can't get your jeans over your thighs.

Did you hear about the Louisiana Tech professor who stood in front of a mirror for two hours, wondering where he'd seen himself before?

How has Clinton made his cabinet look more like America?
→ Many of them have sixth grade reading levels.