McAfee and Bracket were driving home after a big party.
"Hey," said McAfee, "be sure to watch out for that bridge that's coming down the road toward us."
"What are you telling me to 'watch out' for?" asked Brackett. "You're the one who's driving!"
Besides "I love you", what three words does a wife want to hear most?
→ "I'll fix it."
"I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," the young man said, eyeing the attractive salesgirl, "but I don't know her size."
"Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his.
"Oh, yes," he answered. "Her hands are just slightly smaller that yours."
"Will there be anything else?" the salesgirl queried as she wrapped the gloves.
"Now that you mention it," he replied, "she also needs a bra and panties."
How is a bell obedient?
→ It sounds off only when it is told (tolled).
What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
→ "I love you a ton!"
Why did the elephant cross the road?
→ Because the chicken was having a day off!
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?
→ Tooth Hurty!
- Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?
- Joe: I won it in a race.
- Bill: How many people participated in it?
- Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!!
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
What do you call a robbery in China?
→ A Chinese take away!
