Most viewed jokes

- Teacher: If I had ten flies on my desk, and I swatted one, how many flies would be left?

- Girl: One - the dead one!

Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary?
→ It was a dead end job.

What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals?
→ F.B.I.

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"

Why did the cow jump over the moon?
→ To get to the Milky Way!

Jeb and Eudell, University of Michigan athletes, were driving from Ann Arbor to Cleveland. Just outside the city limits they saw a sign: "CLEAN REST ROOMS." By the time they got to Cleveland, they'd cleaned 147 Johns.

Why do tomcats fight?
→ Because they like raising a stink!

What do you call it when a cat stops?
→ A paws!

Why does everyone love cats?
→ They're purr-fect!

Why do cats like to hear other cats make noise?
→ It's meow-sic to their ears!