Most viewed jokes

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful lady.

- May I buy you a drink? - the man asks the lady.

- Sure, but one thing I have to confess before you get intimate is that I was once a man - she responds.

- Whoa! I would have never known if you hadn't told me - the man says shocked.

- Well what was the worst part of the operation? Was it when they sewed on those gahoonas?

- No - she says calmly.

- What about when they cut off your..

- No - she says hesitantly.

- Well what was the worst part of the operation? - the man asks.

- Well, the worst part has to be when they removed half of my brain!

How do snowmen travel around?
→ By iceicle!

When is the water in the shower room musical?
→ When it's piping hot.

Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist?
→ Because she thought everybody loved her.

A man who thinks he's George Washington has been seeing a psychiatrist. He finishes up one session by telling him:

- Tomorrow, we'll cross the Delaware and surprise them when they least expect it.

As soon as he's gone, the psychiatrist picks up the phone and says:

- King George, this is Benedict Arnold. I have the plans.

Marriage is a three-ring circus:

Engagement ring...

Wedding ring...

Suffering!!!

A boy went into the local department store where he saw a sign on the escalator - 'Dogs must be carried on this escalator.'
The boy then spent the next tow hours looking for a dog.

Did you hear about the Puerto Rican secretary who was getting so experienced she could type twenty mistakes a minute?

What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?
→ "Pack your trunk and clear out!"

Whats the difference between a 90s woman and a computer?
→ A 90s woman won't accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.