Most viewed jokes

What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?
→ A cud thud!

What South American dance do cows like to do?
→ The Rump-a

A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked.

- Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones! - the farmer answered.

If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get?
→ An a-cat-emy award.

- Brother: How do you top a car?

- Sister: Tep on the brake, tupid.

- Policeman: Why were you speeding?

- Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

- Policeman: Didn't you see the signs with the speed limit?

- Driver: I thought they were just suggestions.

For sale by Owner: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or the best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows fucking everything!

- What kind of job do you do? - a lady passenger asked the man traveling in her compartment.

- I'm a naval surgeon - he replied.

- Goodness! - said the lady - How you doctors specialize these days!

A job negotiator and a feminist were in dispute... The feminist was arguing over the different pay scales that her women were receiving...

- Fem: Okay, why are women paid less than men for doing the same job that a man does.

- Neg: It says in the Bible that women are worth less than men.

- Fem: Where does it say that? I don't think so.

- Neg: Well, you do agree that woman was made from a rib, correct?

- Fem: Yeah, so?

- Neg: Well, there you have it. A rib is a cheaper cut of meat!