Most viewed jokes

My wife gave me a lesson the other night on User Interface Problems, that really points up some of the differences between the sexes.

We were watching CNN's Technology program they have on weekends, when a segment on Virtual Reality came on.

Looking at the all the wires and gadgets, she turned to me and said that Virtual Reality would never catch on with women.

I was puzzled by this, until she explained:

- Every woman's first thought on seeing that helmet will be, 'I can't wear that. It will mess up my hair!'

Where do snowmen go to dance?
→ Snowballs!

How does a Snowman get to work?
→ By icicle.

- Teacher: Name two pronouns?

- Pupil: Who?, me?

- Little Monster: I hate my teacher.

- Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!

When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
→ Because there are no pupils to see!

One day God called the Pope, and he said:

- John Paul I have good news and bad news. First the good news. I am tired of all the squabbling between the religions. I have decided there will be only the one true religion.

The Pope was overjoyed and told God how wise his decision was, then asked:

- What's the bad news?

God said the bad news is that I am calling from Salt Lake City.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
→ No one knows, it's never happened.

In West Kerry, the wife commented:

- When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. You don't love me any more....

- Nonsense, darling - replied the husband.

- you cook better now.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Beets

- Beets who?

- Beets me, but I just forgot the joke!