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Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says:

- You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.

Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says:

- Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy.

Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed hair and says:

- I could throw one hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy.

Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says:

- I could throw all three of you out the window and make the whole country happy.

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Why will a blonde laugh at a joke three times?
→ Once when you tell it, once when you tell her the punchline, and once when she gets it.

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A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin.

- Listen to this - he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover.

- Yeah - his wife nodded, and it has your weight wrong, too!

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When God created the earth, Adam & Eve, he found he had two baubles left over. He came to Adam & Eve & said:

- I have two things left. One is the gift to piss while standing up.

Adam got very excited:

- Oh, that would be so great, I would really like that. If I'm out in the fields, I can just go right there.

So Eve smiled & said:

- Okay, it sounds like he really wants that.

As Adam tried out his new gift, he asked out of curiousity:

- What was the other gift?

- Oh - God said, looking:

- Multiple orgasms.

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