Most viewed jokes

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Ari

- Ari who?

- Arin't you glad you use Dial!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Aretha

- Aretha who?

- Aretha flowers!

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie?
→ A messy cage.

Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest?
→ Because she was a litter bug.

What did the spider say when he broke his new web?
→ Darn it!

Did you hear about the Georgia accountant who absconded with all the accounts payable?

Edney and Cole, two Ohio Edison electrical repairmen, were working on a blown house circuit.

- Hey, Cole! - said Edney.

- See those two wires?

- Sure, - Cole answered.

- Now just grab one of them.

Cole grabbed one of the wires.

- Feel anything? - asked his partner.

- Not a thing, - answered Cole.

- Good! - said Edney.

- Don't touch the other one or you'll drop dead!

- Delmer: How'd you like the play last night over at the high school?

- Parley: I only seed the first act, but not the second.

- Delmer: Why didn't you stay?

- Parley: I couldn't wait that long. It said on the program, 'Two Years Later.'

An Irishman saw a notice outside a police station which read: MAN WANTED FOR ROBBERY.
So he went in and applied for the job!

A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks, and as he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel.
He picks it up, and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says:

- What's this?

She says:

- Oh, my father's ashes are in there.

He goes:

- Geez...oooh.... I...

She says:

- Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray.