Most viewed jokes

Have you heard about the Irish abortion clinic?
→ There's a 12-month waiting list.

Rigby drove into the city with his girl to catch their first play at a theater.

Rigby rushed up to the box office and said:

- Gimme two tickets for tonight's show.

- Sorry, - said the box office attendant.

- There are no seats left. We have only two standing rooms left.

- Well, I'll be hog tied! Only two left in standing room! - said the farm boy.

- Are they together?

What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool?
→ Show me your mussels.

What is a thespian pony?
→ A little horse play!

Why did the Romans build straight roads?
→ So their soldiers didn't go around the bend!

At 5 P.M. one Halloween afternoon, my dental hygienist realized that she wouldn't make it to the store in time to get snacks for trick-or-treaters. So she took home some free samples from the office supply cabinet. That night she handed out dozens of toothbrushes, toothpaste, and dental floss. The next year, although she had bags of chips and popcorn, not one child came knocking at her door.

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?
→ Rub it, rub it, rub it.

How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
→ One, but don't expect results.

How do you separate the Greek boys from the Greek men at a Greek BBQ?
→ With a Crowbar!!!!!

Why did the elephant eat the candle?
→ For light refreshment!