Most viewed jokes

- My sister went on a crash diet.

- Is that why she looks a wreck?

Solving the Mystery by Ivor Clew

A Skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a beer... and a mop.

Why were the Scouts so tired on April 1?
→ Because they had just finished a 31 day March!

Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands.

This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.

Insensitive Term - Preferred Term

ETHNICITY

PC people do not recognize the term, "race," as valid

- Black- African-Canadian, (NOTE: DOES NOT INCLUDE: LIBYANS, EGYPTIANS, WHITE South AFRICANS. DOES INCLUDE: PEOPLE WITH DARK SKIN REGARDLESS OF WHERE THEY ARE FROM OR WHERE THEY LIVE.)

- Oriental- Asian-Canadian (Note: Not Considered "REAL" Minorities since they tend to do well)

- Indian- Native-Canadian (NOTE: The following terms are no PC: Atlanta Braves, Cleveland Indians, Kansas City Chiefs, Washington Redskins, (Avoid these cities!)

- Chicano -Hispanic (NOTE: THE FOLLOWING ARE NOT PC: Cheech and Chong, Chico and the Man episodes, Cisco Kid, Rosarita Salsa, Speedy Gonzales, AVOID! AVOID!)

- White Trash-PC Unaware, Rustically Inclined

- WASP (white male)-insensitive Cultural Oppressor (ICO)

GENDER

(PC people don't like the word "sex" as it has confusing connotations)

- Woman- Womyn; Vaginal-Canadian

- Girl-Pre-Womyn

- Housewife-Domestic Engineer

- Fireman-Firefighter

- Stewardess-Flight Attendant

- Meter Maid-Parking Enforcement Adjudicator

- Post Man-Post Person Mail Man Person Person

- Policeman-Law Enforcement Officer; Baton Boy Cal. Clubber

- Prostitute-Sex Surrogate (Teen Victim. See: Broken Home)

- Mankind/Human-Earth Children

- Handicapped-Physically Challenged Differently Abled Handi-Capable

- Blind-Optically Darker Photonically Non-receptive

- Deaf-Visually Oriented

- Poor-Economically Unprepared

- Bum-Homeless Person Displaced Homeowner

- Hunter-Animal Assassin Meat Mercenary Bambi Butcher

- Whaler-Blubber Lovers

- Old Person /Elderly-4th-Dimentionally Extended Gerontologically Advanced

- Conservative-Right Wing Extremist Fascist Pig

- Drug Addict-Chemically Challenged

- Bald-Comb-Free

- Bisexual-Sexually Non-preferential

- Midget, Dwarf-Little People, Vertically Challenged

- Convict-Socially Separated

- Insane People-Selectively Perceptive Mental Explorers

- Learning Disability-Self-Paced Cognitive Ability

- Tree-Hugger-Environmental Activist

- Logger-Wood Weasel, Paper Pirate, Treeslayer

- Dead People-Dysfunctional Earth Children Biologically Challenged Metaphysically Challenged

- Broken Home-Dysfunctional Family

- HouseBroken-Family Dysfunction

- Cattle Ranch-Cattle Concentration Camp (CCC) "Moo-shwitz"

- Senile Bag o'Bones-Alzheimer's Victim

- Ghetto/Barrio-(EHA) Ethnically Homogenous Area

- Pre-Integrated Pre-Nirvana

- Hamburger-Seared Mutilated Animal Flesh (SMAF)

- Cheeseburger-Adding Insult to Injury

- Cheating (in School)-Academic Dishonesty

- Used Books-Recycled Books

- Trees-Oxygen Exchange Units

- Gang-Youth Group

- Slum-(EOZ) Economic Oppression Zone

- Obese- People of Mass Gravitationally Challenged

- Delicatessen- Corpse Farm Charnel House

Three surgeons at a conference were discussing their greatest operations during one of the breaks.

- First surgeon: I once had an ambulance crew bring in a man's leg and my team and I built a new body around it and now that he's recovered fully he does the work of five guys.

- Second surgeon: That's really good. My greatest test was a few skin fragments sent to us by the local nuclear plant after a major accident. My team and I work for three days and built an entire new person around those few bits and sent him back to work six months later. He's so good that he now runs the entire plant by himself!

- Third surgeon: Not bad, my friend. I was walking along outside the White House when Clinton went jogging by and farted. I captured that fart in a plastic bag and went to the hospital. My team and I built another ass hole around that fart, added a brain and he's so good he's putting this entire country out of work!

What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
→ You only have to punch information into a computer once!

Why do men like blonde jokes?
→ Because they can understand them.

Six of the seven dwarfs are sitting around the house one day when Sleepy rushes in and says:

- Guess what guys, I've won a trip to see the Pope!

Everyone gets all excited and chants:

- We finally get to ask him, we finally get to ask him.

The next day, they are standing in front of the Pope, Dopey out in front of the other six. All the other six start pushing Dopey and saying:

- Go ahead, Dopey, ask him, ask him!

The Pope looks at Dopey and asks:

- Do you have a question to ask me, young man?

Dopey looks up shyly and says:

- Well, yes.

The Pope tells him to go ahead and ask.

Dopey asks:

- Well, do....do they have nuns in Alaska?

The Pope replies:

- Well, yes, I'm sure we have nuns in Alaska.

The others all keep nudging Dopey and chanting:

- Ask him the rest, Dopey, ask him the rest!

The Pope asks Dopey if there's more to his question, and Dopey continues:

- Well, uh, do they have, uh, black nuns in Alaska?

To which the Pope replies:

- Well, my son, I think there must be a few black nuns in Alaska, yes.

Still not satisfied, the others keep saying:

- Ask him the last part, Dopey, ask him the last part!

The Pope asks Dopey:

- Is there still more to your question?

To which Dopey replies:

- Well, uh, yeah.....are there, uh, are there any midget black nuns in Alaska?

The startled Pope replies:

- Well, no, my son, I really don't think there are any midget black nuns in Alaska.

At this, Dopey turns all kinds of colors, and the others start laughing, and yelling...

- Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin!