Most viewed jokes

What do you put in a www.ashing machine?
→ Net curtains!

- Teacher: Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive?

- Pupil: To keep vampires off the Internet

- Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet

- Pupil: See? It works, doesn't it?

A stupid man was struggling out of his house with a big table. His neighbor said to him, "Hello, Harry. Where are you going with that then?" And Harry replied, "I'm taking it to the store to have it measured for a new tablecloth."

What does the 1286BC inscribed on the mummy's tomb indicate?
→ The registration of the car that ran him over!

Where's the most dangerous place to go trick-or-treating?
→ On the psycho path!

Why should you use six hooks on your fishing line?
→ eFISHancy!

Why are fish cleverer than humans?
→ Ever seen a fish spend a fortune trying to hook a human?

Which fish dresses the best?
→ The Swordfish. It always looks sharp!

Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.

- Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away.

- Now come on, David - his mother said.

- a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off.

- But that's just what I did, mommy.

The fishing season hasn't opened and a fisherman who doesn't have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks:

- Any luck?

- Any luck? This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday - he boasts.

- Is that so? By the way, do you know who I am? - asks the stranger.

- Nope.

- Well, meet the new game warden.

- Oh, - gulped the fisherman. Well, do you know who I am?

- Nope.

- Meet the biggest liar in the state.