Most viewed jokes

What did the magician say when he made his rabbit disappear?
→ Hare today, gone tomorrow.

Juggler, driving to his next performance, was stopped by the police.

- What are those knives doing in your car? - asked the officer.

- I juggle them in my act.

- Oh yeah? - says the cop.

- Let's see you do it. So the juggler starts tossing and juggling the knives.

A guy driving by sees this and says:

- Wow, am I glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're making you do now!

How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the lightbulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"

How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?
→ He's the stiff one.

How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb?
→ None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers.

Where do bad pigs go?
→ They get sent to the pen.

- Little monster: Mom, why can't we have dustbins like everyone else?

- Mother monster: Less talking, more eating please.

What do you get if you cross a bird with a monstrous snarl?
→ A budgerigrrrrr!

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
→ He wanted cold hard cash!

- Wife: Do you think of me when you're away darling?

- Husband: Yes honey, I always bare you in mind.