Women Jokes — best jokes

A University had advertised for two biologists to help in their mammalogy department, specifically with a group of captive grizzly bears.
They had only two applicants - a beautiful young women biologist and an older male biologist.

The mammalogist in charge of the project knew that not everyone can handle working with such fierce creatures so he decided to test their skills with the bears. The two hopefuls followed him out to the bear pen.

He first asked the young women to show him what she could do.

She entered the cage, stripped down to her bikini, and the largest bear walked up and nuzzled her bare legs.

The astonished mammalogist then said to the old man, "Can you do that?"

"You're darn right I can," said the old man, "just get that bear out of there first!"

A math student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
"Where did you get the bike from?" his friends want to know. "It's a 'thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..." "Tell us!" "Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: 'You can get from me whatever you desire!'"
One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"

- My boyfriend thinks I'm beautiful

- Well they do say that love is blind!

I can't understand why people say my girlfriend's legs look like matchsticks. They do look like sticks - but they certainly don't match.

- Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance?

- Man: It did for a while - then it fell off.

Julie had broken off her engagement. Her friend asked her what had happened. 'I thought it was love at first sight,' said Julie.
'It was, but it was the second and third sights that changed my mind.'

- Bill: My sister has lovely long red hair all down her back.

- Will: Pity it's not on her head.

She's the kind of girl that boys look at twice - they can't believe it the first time.

"My boyfriend says I look like a dishy Italian!" said Miss Conceited.
"Then he's right," said her little brother. "Sophia Loren?"
"No-spaghetti!"

What is yellow and goes click-click?
→ A ball-point banana.

- Witch: Will I lose my looks as I get older?

- Wizard: With luck, yes.