Travel Jokes — best jokes

- Passenger: Does this bus go to London?

- Conductor: No.

- Passenger: But it says London on the front.

- Conductor: There's an advertisement for baked beans on the side, but we don't sell them!

What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head?
→ Dead.

Why did the bus stop?
→ Because it saw the zebra crossing.

A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside.

- 'There's no room. It's full up!'

- 'But you must let me on!' shouted the man.

- 'Why, what's so special about you?' they asked.

- 'I'm the driver,' replied the man.

When you go for a bus ride, do you like sitting upstairs or downstairs?
→ I prefer to ride on top, but it's very hard getting the horse up the stairs.

As the bus came to the stop, the man at the front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in the air and caught it before getting on the bus. An amazed conductor said, 'What on earth did you do that for?'

'I wanted to know if there was room on top,' replied the man.

- Passenger: Will this bus take me to New York?

- Driver: Which part?

- Passenger: All of me, of course!

How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar?
→ Throw it under a bus.

- Teacher: Tommy Russell, you're late again.

- Tommy: Sorry, sir. It's my bus - it's always coming late.

- Teacher: Well, if it's late again tomorrow, catch an earlier one.

A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the man's supper and began whining and jumping up at him. "Do you mind if I throw him a bit?" said the man to the lady.

"Not at all," she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.