Travel Jokes — best jokes

What happened when the cannibal crossed the Atlantic on the QE2?
→ He told the waiter to take the menu away and bring him the passenger list!

What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday?
→ He ate himself.

Why didn't anyone take the school bus to school?
→ I wouldn't fit through the door.

What is a bus?
→ A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

- Cross-Eyed Monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver.

- Witch: Well, I won't stand in your way.

What do you call a man with a double decker bus on his head?
→ The deceased!

What "bus" crossed the ocean?
→ Columbus.

What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold?
→ One knows the stops, the other stops the nose.

Which end of a bus is it best to get off?
→ It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.

Have you seen the bus website?
→ Yes - it's just the ticket!