Stats/Math Jokes — best jokes

- Teacher: What's 2 and 2

- Pupil: 4

- Teacher: That's good

- Pupil: Good?, that's perfect!

- Teacher: Are you good at math?

- Pupil: Yes and no

- Teacher: What do you mean?

- Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!

'Ann!' the teacher shouted one day at the girl who had been daydreaming out the window. 'If India has the world's second largest population, oranges are 50 cents for six and it costs $3 for a day return to Austin, how old am I?'

- Thirty two!

- Why did you say that?

- Well, my brother's sixteen and he's half mad!

What's the longest piece of furniture in the school?
→ The multiplication table.

What do you get when you add 2 apples to 3 apples?
→ A senior high school math problem.

The teacher came up with a good problem.

"Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
"None," answered little Norman.
"None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic."
"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?"

"Somebody else's pants."

- Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?

- Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!

- Teacher, I can't solve this problem.

- Any five year old should be able to solve this one.

- No wonder I can't do it then, I'm nearly ten!

- Teacher: Can anyone tell me how many seconds there are in a year?

- Pupil: 12 - 2nd January, 2nd February...!