Stats/Math Jokes — best jokes

- If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

- One dollar.

- You don't know your arithmetic.

- You don't know my father!

- Fred: I got 100 in school today.

- Mother: Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?

- Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History.

- Mother: Well, at least you can add!

- How are you doing in arithmetic?

- I've learned to add up the zeros, but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

"Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!"

- Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?

- Jackie: Nine.

- Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight.

- Jackie: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!

- Fred: I've added these figures ten times.

- Teacher: Good work!

- Fred: And here are my ten answers!

- Teacher: Jackie, take 932 from 1,439. What is the difference?

- Stella: That's what I say, what's the difference?

- Teacher: Can you count to 10?

- Fred: Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

- Teacher: Now go on from there.

- Fred: Jack, Queen, King.

The teacher was reviewing counting with her first-grade class. "Jackie," she asked, "can you count to 10 without mistakes?"
"Yes," said Jackie, and she did.
"Now, Fred," said the teacher, "can you count from 10 to 20?"
"That depends," said Fred, "with or without mistakes"!

- Teacher: How much is half of 8

- Pupil: Up and down or across?

- Teacher: What do you mean?

- Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0