Stats/Math Jokes — best jokes

- If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

- One dollar.

- You don't know your arithmetic.

- You don't know my father!

- Fred: I got 100 in school today.

- Mother: Wonderful. What did you get 100 in?

- Jason: Two things: I got 50 in Spelling and 50 in History.

- Mother: Well, at least you can add!

- How are you doing in arithmetic?

- I've learned to add up the zeros, but the numbers are still giving me trouble.

"Our teacher has a bad memory. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. We told her it was four. But she still doesn't know. Today she asked us again!"

- Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?

- Jackie: Nine.

- Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight.

- Jackie: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!

- Fred: I've added these figures ten times.

- Teacher: Good work!

- Fred: And here are my ten answers!

- Teacher: Jackie, take 932 from 1,439. What is the difference?

- Stella: That's what I say, what's the difference?

- Teacher: Can you count to 10?

- Fred: Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

- Teacher: Now go on from there.

- Fred: Jack, Queen, King.

The teacher was reviewing counting with her first-grade class.

- Jackie, can you count to 10 without mistakes? - she asked.

- Yes - said Jackie, and she did.

- Now, Fred, can you count from 10 to 20? - said the teacher.

- That depends, with or without mistakes! - said Fred.

- Teacher: How much is half of 8

- Pupil: Up and down or across?

- Teacher: What do you mean?

- Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0