Political Jokes — best jokes

Democrats' favorite Christmas movie is "Miracle on 34th Street."
Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "It's a Wonderful Life."
Right-Wing Republicans' favorite Christmas movie is "Die Hard."

Republicans spends hundreds of dollars and hours of work decorating the yard with outdoor lights and Christmas displays.
Democrats save their time and money, and drive around at night to look at other people's lights.

Republican parents have no problem buying toy guns for their kids.
Democrats refuse to do so. That is why their kids pretend to shoot each other with dolls.

Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.

When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers" on late night television.

If an elephant is the symbol of the Republican Party and a donkey is the symbol of the Democratic Party, what is a pig the symbol of?
→ Any party where there's lots of food.

The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it.

The most popular of these scams is called Social Security.

What is the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?
→ A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a tour of the USA!

Who is king of all the mice?
→ Mouse Tse Tung!

- I hate paying my income tax.

- You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile?

- I'd like to but they insist on money