Police Jokes — best jokes

Why do hamburgers make poor pigeons?
→ They won't talk no matter how you grill them!

Which burgers are dishonest?
→ Cat-burgers! (burglars)

How do they prevent crime in hamburger country?
→ With burger alarms!

The Modern Police Force by Iris Tew

Catching Criminals by Hans Upp

A policeman pulled a blonde over after he/she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.

- Cop: Do you know where you were going?

- Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, "Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde all escape from a prison together. They run into the nearby woods and all climb up seperate trees. When the police find the redheads tree and ask who is up there, the redhead chirps like a bird. Then the police go to the brunette's tree. When they ask who is up there, the brunette makes chipmunk noises. Finally, when the police go to the blonde's tree and ask who is up there, the blonde goes, "MOOOOOOOOOO!"

A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open, exposing one of her breasts.

A nearby policeman approaches her and remarks, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"

"Why, officer?" asks the blonde.

"Because your blouse is open and your breast is exposed."

"Oh my goodness," exclaims the blonde, "I left my baby on the bus!"

Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
→ She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.