Police Jokes — best jokes

- Policeman: Didn't you see my lights flashing?

- Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed of light.

- Policeman: Didn't you hear my siren?

- Motorist: Sure, that's why I sped up.

- Policeman: Didn't you hear me whistle at you?

- Woman Driver: Sure, but I don't flirt when I drive.

- Policeman: Did you realize you just missed that bus with your car?

- Motorist: Did you want me to hit it?

- Policeman: Are you going to a fire?

- Motorist: No, I'm trying to prevent one. That's what my boss said would happen if I were late again.

- Police Officer: Why were you speeding?

- Women Driver: I was late for traffic school.

- Police Officer: Why are you driving in a bathing suit?

- Motorist: I'm in a car pool.

- Motorist: Does a deer have a horn?

- Police Officer: No, a deer has two horns.

- Motorist: Then it must have been a car that ran over my uncle.

Two wizards in a car were driving along and the police were chasing them for speeding.

One said, "What are we going to do?"

The other replied, "Quick, turn the car into a side street."

A state trooper pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.

"I was only going 40!" the driver protested.

"Not according to my radar," the trooper said.

"Yes, I was!" the man shouted back.

"No you weren't!" the trooper said.

With that, the man's wife leaned toward the window and said, "Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he's been drinking."