Guest
Burglar's Birthday Gift
What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?
→ A stole.
Police Jokes — best jokes
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Random joke from this category
Guest
Birds Found Locked Up
What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?
→ Jail-birds!
Guest
Jesus Is Watching You
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty.
He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say:
"Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again.
"Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again.
The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened.
Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.
He asked the parrot:
"Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?"
"Yes", said the parrot.
The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: "What's your name?"
"Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?"
The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus."
Guest
Cyclist And Pedestrian
The cyclist, passing a pedestrian crossing, runs into a man, and they both fall down.
- Geez, are you lucky.
- What do you mean by lucky? I got hurt really bad.
- Ah, you're lucky because I recently lost my license. I usually drive a bus.
Guest
The Robber's Bath
Why did the robber take a bath?
→ So he could make a clean getaway.
Guest
Criminal Hygiene
What criminal doesn't take baths?
→ A dirty crook.
Guest
The Bank Robber's Bath
Why did the bank robber take a bath?
→ So he could make a clean getaway.
Guest
LAPD Barbie
There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
LAPD Barbie ...comes with two nightsticks, in case one gets broken subduing a suspect. Taser also available.
The Barman's Inquest
What happened when the barman died?
→ The police held an inn-quest
Guest
Roof Of The Car
A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into every car and then rubbing the roofs of the cars.
The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing?" he asks the drunk.
"I'm looking for my car, and I can't find it."
"So how does feeling the roof help you?" He asked the drunk.
"Well," the drunk replied. "MY car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!!"