Random joke from this category
A woman entered the hospital to deliver her 15th child. "Congratulations," said the nurse, "but don't you think this is enough?" The woman replied, "Are you kidding? This is the only vacation I get each year."
A young lady came home and told her Mother that her boyfriend had proposed but she had turned him down because she found out he was an atheist, and didn't believe in Heaven or Hell.
"Marry him anyway, dear." the Mother said. "Between the two of us, we'll show him just how wrong he is."
A man answers the phone and has the following conversation:
"Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard.
Well, you know how she is.
"Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her.
"You were perfectly right.
"You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room:
"Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"
A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement, her Father asked, "Does this fellow have any money?"
The daughter shook her head sadly. "Oh Daddy! You men are all alike." sighing deeply, she replied, "That's exactly what he asked me about you."
Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and Father, I can say anything I want to around the house.
Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.
- Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
- Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
- Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
- Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, "I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we're going to be three in this house instead of two."
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, "I'm glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us."
Josh sent a letter to his folks. He told about a ten-mile hike he had taken.
His father wrote back saying, "In my day I thought nothing of walking ten miles."
Josh wrote back, "To tell the truth, I didn't think much of it either."
Did you hear about the Omaha mother who got tired of putting name tags on her son's shirts, so she had his name legally changed to "Machine Washable"?
