Mom/Dad Jokes — best jokes

An eight-year-old kid says to his dad, "When I grow up, I want to be a musician."
The dad says, "I am sorry -- can't have it both ways."

- Mom, why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing lessons?

- I don't want the neighbours to think I'm employing corporal punishment, dear.

- Dad, why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage?

- Because, son, it is more difficult to hit a moving target.

- Mommy monster: Don't eat that uranium.

- Little monster: Why not?

- Mommy monster: You'll get atomic-ache.

- Little monster: Mom, Mom, what's for tea?

- Mother monster: Shut up and get back in the microwave.

- Little monster: Mom, why can't we have dustbins like everyone else?

- Mother monster: Less talking, more eating please.

- Little monster: Mom I've finished. Can I leave the table?

- Mommy monster: Yes, I'll save it for your tea.

- MONSTER MOTHER: How many times have I told you not to eat with your fingers? Use the spade like everyone else.

What does a monster mom say to her kids at dinnertime?
→ Don't talk with someone in your mouth.

- Little monster: Mom, I've finished. Can I leave the table?

- Mommy monster: Yes, I'll save it for your supper.