Medicine — best jokes

What do you call an operation on a rabbit?
→ A hare-cut.

- Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?

- Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.

- Lady (standing in the middle of a busy street): Officer, can you tell me how to get to the Hospital?

- Officer: Just stand where you are!!!

A Japanese man was boasting about how his country had such advanced medical technology. He said, "We take the lungs out of a man, perform an operation, put the lungs back in, and in 4 weeks, the man is looking for work."

An Englishman said, "We are far more advanced than you. We can take the heart out of a man, perform surgery and have him ready for work in just 3 weeks."

The Irishman says, "That's nothing; we can take a kidney out of a man, put into another man's body and have them looking for work in 2 weeks."

The American says, "Well hell, that's nothin'. We had an idiot taken out of Texas, put in the Whitehouse and now half the country is lookin' for work!"

Why do pigs never recover from illness?
→ Because you have to kill them before you cure them!

When pigs get a toothache, who do they see?
→ Painless Porker.

What do you give a sick pig?
→ Oinkment!

What do you do for a pig with sore muscles?
→ Rub him with oinkment.

What do you call a pig with the flu?
→ A swine swine.

What do piggys take when they are sick?
→ Pigicillin!