Marriage Jokes — best jokes

What is the difference between inlaws and outlaws?
→ Outlaws are wanted! or You can shoot outlaws!

What is the difference between a vulture and your mother-in-law?
→ Vultures wait until your dead to pick on you.

A person receives a telegram informing about his mother-in-law's death.

It also enquires him whether she should be buried or cremated.

He replies:

- Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes!

I just had the doctor remove an ugly growth from my back. It was my mother-in-law.

Happiness is defined as opening your refrigerator to find your mother-in-law's picture on the milk carton.

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
→ Two mother-in-law's!

- Why Steve, you're so depressed today, what's the matter?

- Ah, well, I have had a quarrel with my mother-in-law. She swore to me she wouldn't talk to me for a month!!

- Then so bad about it? You should celebrate the event!!

- No, no, see...that was four weeks ago, and today is the last day...

Sign seen in a small restaurant:

Thanks for visiting. If you liked the food, send your friends. Otherwise, send your mother-in-law.

An elderly woman rushed up the stairs to the church, late for the wedding. An usher asked to see her invitation.

- I don't have one - she said.

- Well then, are you a friend of the groom?

- I should say not - snapped the woman.

- I'm the bride's mother!

A man was traveling down a country road when he saw a large group of people outside a house. He stopped and asked a person why the large crowd was there.

A farmer replied:

- Joe's mule kicked his mother-in-law and she died.

- Well - replied the man.

- she must have had a lot of friends.

- Nope - said the farmer.

- we all just want to buy his mule.